Ask For Signs | Follow The Signs | Trust Your Self
Asking for signs in the physical realm has been part of my relationship with my inner realm for eons. I love birds, in particular the Owl. Myself, Owls and signs recently had the most magical intersection that took me on a journey of truth seeking and trusting, in my Self. A journey I want to share as a reminder to us all, that when it gets right down to it, we really do have everything we need already within us. The key is in the trusting.
It all began on my birthday with a couple of gifts; a beautiful screen print, a book of poetry and a couple of feathers I’d found on my birthday hike - all featuring my beloved winged messenger; the Owl. Whilst on the hike, I had asked for a gift from my guides, something that had never occurred to me, but on that particular day I found myself feeling that I was on the edge of expanding in some way. I didn’t ask for anything specific, but rather left it up to my guides to choose what I was ready for. During a meditation towards the end of the hike, my “gift” arrived. It was in the form of a deep resonant soul knowing that felt otherworldly, blissful and powerful beyond description. Truly a lightning bolt moment and a very emotional experience.
As the days and weeks passed, my “gift” began to unfold. More clarity arrived, along with downloads of inspiration with ideas attached. I had opportunities and invitations to test drive my newfound awareness and in my meditations, I kept asking my guides for signs in the physical. I began finding dozens of feathers on my nature walks, specifically hawk and owl feathers; symbols of destiny, truth and wisdom. Spanning over a month’s walks I received over 300 of these “feathered messages.” It felt magical, yet I had this niggling doubt that it was just coincidence, or, as my brain liked to point out; perhaps this was just the time of year when birds were molting.
Over morning coffee I was remembering Einstein’s quote on two ways to live life … “One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” For me, this perfectly described the conflict I had been experiencing between my brain and heart.
That day, I took my inner conflict and mistrust for a walk in the canyon and asked for a physical sign that was so specific, it couldn’t possibly be second-guessed by logic or random happenstance. I asked for an owl tail feather – something rare and unusual (never had I come across one in all my years of wandering) as proof that my gift is real. And so, I walked and walked and not a single feather was to be found. When I got home, a friend was dropping off some home roasted beets and to my utter astonishment, they had tied a giant feather to the lid of the container. My owl tail feather had found its’ way to me through an unexpected path and I was beside myself at the unfolding of it all. For the rest of the day I was riding high in the clouds of affirmation. Yet, something my friend said before leaving had cast a questionable shadow over my confidence. When I declared it was an owl tail feather, he had thought it to be a hawk feather, and his little comment grew into another kernel of doubt. I wanted so badly to let it go, but to satisfy myself, I checked a bird feather identification website. Much to my dismay I discovered he was right.
I was so disappointed.
That night, in a dream, my true Self met up with my disappointed self and I witnessed the two reconciling what had transpired. I’ve had this kind of dream before, where my wise self is passing along insights or guidance to human self around something I’m struggling with. But in this particular situation, it was my human self that was giving guidance. In the dream, I declared that I didn’t need confirmation. No more signs, validation, or approval were necessary. Asking for signs and either getting them or not didn’t change what I knew in my heart of hearts to be true. In dream state, I witnessed myself choosing and backing my Self. And upon waking in what Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. describes as the “topside world”, I remembered Georgia O’Keefe’s stance about her art. She pays no mind to others, to flattery or criticism, for she had already settled it for herself. And in the dream, I had watched myself settle it for me, once and for all.