Listen | Learn | LOVE

An important component to cultivating healthy relationships lies in our ability to listen to one another.

It is said that there are three levels of listening. The first is with our ears, the second is with our mind, and the third is with our heart.

Only in the third level are we available and present for true connection.

When we shift away from interrupting, compiling our responses, or forming judgements and conclusions around what is being shared, and intentionally open the listening ears of our heart, we become available for true connection. There’s a chasm of difference and between listening to respond or listening to understand.

The gift of allowing another to give rise to their feelings, thoughts and inherent knowning provides opportunities for witnessing, and for another to discover their own process. Listening not just with our ears, but with our entire being is a gateway to sublime presence and a profound intimacy with ourselves and with one another.

Active listening is such an overlooked, yet potent and valuable part of communication. Allowing others to feel heard and held is an advanced and evolved relationship skill that requires our attention, intention and effort. But the investment will undeniably lead to more experiences of acceptance, understanding and belonging. Much needed gifts of our time for sure.

Being touched by another’s (or our own) truth becomes an opening window, through which insights, illuminations, connection, love and evolution can flow in.

Ideas on how be a better listener in a world full of talkers.

Ooofa!

To say, (pardon the pun) that I am a lifelong and ever humble student of communication, and in particular listening; is a gross understatement. A childhood where speaking ones' thoughts and feelings was neither welcomed or safe would eventually manifest into decades of silence, immense shame and secret keeping. Learning how to find, heal and share my truth and voice has been a forever agenda item and masterclass of mine here in earth school. The relationship between the fear of being heard and the unending desire to be my truth is certainly not lost on me.

The Source of the Wound holds the Source of The Medicine.

Here are some small and large ways I've found to be helpful in navigating this particular terrain of communication; namely active listening. I share them here in the hopes of them being helpful to you. And in turn, if you have wisdom to share in the art of listening, please know ... my heart is forever at the ready to receive.

In a world that is forever talking, take breaks to be in silence. Notice your mind chatter, but don’t engage with it. Breath into the quiet and allow this practice to serve as a micro reset of calm and centering within your day.

Staying open and curious in conversations leads to new discoveries and expansive "what if" possibilities. Reflecting back to confirm that what you heard is correct is affirming. Engaging with open-ended questions that invite further dialogue may lead to more illuminations and inspiration.

Interrupting, preaching, participating to prove a point or "win" and "fixing" are the opposite of true listening.

To speak and listen to yourself with care, kindness and reverence is to become your own safe and sacred space. This is self-love in action and in embodiment and foundational to becoming a compassionate listener for others.

Before engaging in conversation, set an intention to truly listen to another person. Silence your phone. Maintain eye contact. Check your judgement. By practicing being present with the easier, simpler, everyday exchanges, we strengthen our capacity to be present for the more challenging conversations, and in doing so, we widen and deepen our connection, compassion and understanding to others and ourselves.

"When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new." (Dalai Lama).