Transition Transform Trust - Navigating with LOVE
Transitions and transformations have a tendency to bring up a surge of "all the things" emotional to the surface, as we find ourselves in the uncomfortable and unfamiliar space between what is known and unknown. This can sometimes find us lamenting over what has past, or forecasting a future that is not here, as we struggle in the pause of what is not known or seen.
Our brain's fear (not to mention our nervous system) is often in conflict with our heart’s knowing and our soul’s calling, so much so, that the suffering of not taking a step forward, becomes greater than the turmoil of our uncertain mind.
And yet, we know that nothing stands still. We understand that life is perpetually shifting, unfolding, expanding and redefining itself. And we inherently understand that we too, are part of that intrinsic universal evolutionary dance.
We can ease the discomfort that inevitably comes along with change, in surrendering our personal control over the outcome and seeing new thresholds as opportunities to strengthen our relationship with trust. Hurts and wounding of our the past and tethering ourselves to a specific place, a certain role, association or ideal, become obstacles and roadblocks that can keep us identifying or clinging to a former place in time, or a certain way of being. Over time, our emotional patterns can become well-worn and familiar grooves that hold us back from our ability to merge and flow with the natural rhythm of life and a world that is always in motion.
The first stage of any transformation is awareness. We can only change what we know. Creating room in your life for self-reflection, meditation, therapy, journaling, etc. is the foundation of self-exploration, and accessing the inner lantern of awareness that yield our own epiphanies, wisdom, insights, guidance and truth. I like to call this process lock and key. The lock is my unconscious, what is buried, repressed, denied etc. And my desire to transform that into light, to bring it into my consciousness and help me grow is my key. I am my own key. As are you.
With practice, we begin to notice and track the places where we get caught and stuck, the habits, routines and patterns influenced and shaped from our past conditioning. Recognizing that we are all a product of our conditioning is the first click of the key to unlocking ourselves from our conditioning.
Without judging any of it, we come to observe and understand that where we are is not really who we are. We simply acknowledge that we are no longer this former version of ourselves, and that we can’t move forward without first releasing the grip of what was.
This ushers in the second stage of transformation - personal choice. The brilliance of Maya Angelou reminds us that “When we know better, we can do better”. With newfound awareness we can ask ourselves what we’d like to experience instead. How do we want to feel? How can we support ourselves? Can we give ourselves patience, compassion, forgiveness, healing, assistance, joy, rest, some well deserved slack? What decisions or actions must we take in order to move in a different direction? Even if no-one has ever shown us how, we can still learn to hold our own heart and be our own best loving ally. Our choice is our personal power. When we choose to LOVE ourselves through any transition or transformation, it becomes our Super Power.
When we awaken to something new about ourselves that resonates as truth, we often feel an inner nudge or call to make a change. Often times, this new aspect of ourselves has already shifted. The former version has already been outgrown. Simply acknowledging the discarding is sometimes all that’s required for us to let it go and be open to a whole new way of being.
With newfound awareness we are able to respond to ourselves, others, situations and life with new eyes, fresh perspectives, and choices that are founded from our heart, our healing, our wisdom, our illumination, and our expansion.
(Please note that my intention for sharing this personal practice is to support a desire to shift a habit, routine or emotional pattern by first noticing and acknowledging it. Some of my own patterns have been transformed in a single flash of illumination and others are the work of a lifetime. I am an advocate for self-healing, self-empowerment and self-love, and that also includes being a champion for seeking professional support when needed.
Notice where you tend to react negatively to a certain person, or situation and stop. Ask yourself if this inner critic, upset, judgement, belief, anger, anxiety, hurt, or fear is a reflection of the past continuing to inform your present?
With loving kindness, gently remind yourself that you are no longer this aspect of yourself. This old reaction is claiming what is here now and even though it “feels” familiar, in reality, it is not the same experience, person, or situation. You are not the same “you”.
Stay in a place of neutrality (you may like to place your hand on your heart, to come home to yourself) to help diffuse the emotions and allow for a deeper sense of your true Self to shine through. The Sacred aspect of you that is all knowing, supporting and loving. In this way we learn to tend to ourselves.
When we reconnect with the very essence of our being, we release the past and reclaim our present. We realize that life is not “happening to us”, but, that we are the authors of our own life’s stories. That at any moment we can decide what we’d prefer to experience instead. How we’d like to respond. And then edit, delete or re-write accordingly.
You are the key to reclaiming your light.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.